Updated: Mar 27
What are the makings of a beautiful friendship? Genuine friendships are hard to come by, so if you have one, two, or three good friendships, you are lucky and should cherish them. As I did in previous posts, I'd like to start with a short story. I was talking to a young woman the other day; she was telling me about a friend of hers; she said she was thinking about ending the friendship with her friend because her friend was too needy, disrespectful at times, and overly eager to find a man and get married. She also said her friend was jealous of her because she had a boyfriend. She then went on to tell me that her girlfriend had a good man, but she ultimately ran him away because she was disrespectful towards him at times. While we didn't get any deeper than that regarding the specifics of why her friend had these characteristics, we did discuss what true friendship really looks like. I talk to women often about friendships, and in my experiences with friendships, though not many, I understated women and the value of friendships. I didn't have many friendships growing up for reasons I won't get into in this post (later posts), but I know what a friend is not (another later post). The makings of a beautiful friendship are: one, a true friend meets a friend where they are in life; of course, if the friendship becomes problematic or affect your well-being, you should without a doubt "exit stage left" maybe not permanently but to allow your friend to grow and to see the error of her ways. Secondly, have a conversation with your friend regarding your concerns or what you know about her and what she may not see in herself. Sometimes for many reasons, people may not be aware of what they are doing or who they are presenting to the world, even if they've been told something repeatedly. Timing is everything.
In some cases, it may take a stranger to say something to your friend, and one day, she just may get it. Perhaps everything's that's been told to her in the past by people in her circle did not translate for various reasons; maybe she doesn't trust their opinions. Perhaps she doesn't see the value in what they are saying. Or perhaps she is not mature enough in that area of her life to pick up what's been put down. Just because a person doesn't change when someone wants them to change doest mean they will never change, and last, but certainly not least, true friendships allow each other to be who they are; a true friend is loyal, loving, accepting, trusting, and patient. The makings of a beautiful friendship happens organically; it's not forced. You connect on deep levels. You share some common interests; you respect one another's opinions, values, life views, and more. It's a beautiful thing when you have all of this in a person or people if you're lucky. Till next time, good people always show kindness; you never know what someone is going through.
Kind words: People who love are forgiving!